You have planned this moment for years. Since you were thirteen you knew that you wanted to have a beach wedding in June with a huge flower arch and your guest seated in a circle around you. You knew that your bridesmaids would look fantastic in a gorgeous serene turquoise. You ruled out the idea of wearing a veil because you never really cared for them. And after discovering Pinterest, you have every detail from napkin designs to centerpieces picked out for your special day. But let’s remember the really reason for the wedding; some brave man has endured all of your strange quirks and habits and has found something in you that he cannot live without. You have become his best friend and he has decided to spend the rest of his life with you. As young girls, we only planned what WE wanted in a wedding. We never consider what our future groom would want because his opinion didn’t matter since he wasn’t real yet. Now what your dreams of finding that special person has come true, it is time to make sure that the wedding is perfect for both of you. Here are some ways to include your guy in the wedding process and make the wedding “ours” instead of “yours.”
The Guest List
Getting married would not be the same if all of your friends and family were not there to celebrate with you. Just like you could not image your college girlfriends not being there to see you walk down the aisle, he also has childhood friends he would love to see at the wedding. Make sure that he has everyone that is important to him at the wedding too. Even if you are on a budget and can’t invited everyone you want, don’t start crossing off his list before your own. If your lists are uneven then decide on a percentage for both of you to cut. He has been waiting just as long as you have to find his prefect match and would love for the people in his life to see the woman he decided to make a home with.
Speaking of making a home, letting your future hubby help with the registry is a great way to make sure that your home will have something for both of you. Vases, teacups, and towels are great, but most guys do not usually jump for joy at the idea of a new gravy boat. Allow him to put some of the things he likes on the registry too. You may register at traditional stores like Macy’s, Crate and Barrel, and Bloomingdales, but give your guy other options like Amazon and Best Buy to get things he wants. You may be surprised how much his gift ideas would benefit you too. By letting him register those power tools he has always wanted, you would be able to ask him to help build that DIY side table you saw on online. Letting him list those high quality speakers, you could blast Taylor Swift through the whole house and getting him new grilling tools may increase your chances of having steak every week for the rest of your life. So before you decide that your man will never touch the registry list, think it over.
Managing the budget is not something that anyone gets excited about doing, but if your fiancé is up to it, he is one brave man. Ladies, most of us have had an ideas of what we want our wedding to look like and find it hard to hear no to something we have dreamed up for years. Just remember you have a budget for a reason and your man is there to help you stay close to your budget. He may also keep track of receipts, contracts, and some appointments. This will only lighten your load, so if man decides to take this on he’s the MVP.
Music is a major part of every wedding. It can set the mood for the style of wedding and reception you are planning to have. You and your guy should pick music that fits you as a couple. Figuring out what kind of music both of you will enjoy can help set a guideline for what tunes you will play and what songs will be cut. Your man can also help with the all-important decision of band or DJ. He can help you vet all of the candidates while you do errands he would rather not do. He will be so excited to show off this musical prowess with the playlist and to hear some of this favorite songs during the wedding. Whether you are an indie music lovers or a country music rockers having him help with the music is a great way to get him involved in the wedding process.
The quickest way to your man’s heart is through his stomach and he will thank you dearly for taking him to the food tasting. With so many decisions such as the kind of food you want and whether to eat local or seasonal food, your fiancé can be that second option you were looking for. He can help you with personal touches to your wedding menu like adding the dish from your first date or the first meal you made together. He will also make sure that the portion sizes are big enough to feed his college buddies and can tell the chef parts of the dish that you would like to change if you are too shy to say so yourself. And after trying every appetizer, main dish, and side dish under the sun, he will gladly help you eliminate options and settle on the best food for the wedding.
One of the worst things that can happen at a wedding is running out of alcohol. Get him to stock the bar with “the good stuff.” He will be so excited to fill the bar with his favorite local beers and spirits. He may even surprise you and find that wine you shared on your trip to New York together. For this one day he will gladly act very sophisticated before going back to ordering whatever is on draft. Give him the chance to show his buddies that he has come a long way from cheap beers and wine and now he has become a beer connoisseur.
Ladies you are going to be marrying a grown man. Let him pick out his suit. No he is not Tim Gunn or Tom Ford, but he knows that red vests and mint suits definitely don’t go together. Give him a chance to show off his personal style. If you go with him to find his suit be there as a second opinion. Do not tell him to try on this suit or that one. If he liked it he would have picked it. Be there to tell him what looks great on him and be happy for whatever suit he chooses for him and his groomsmen. Remember that he did not tell you what wedding dress to choose and has no clue what you will be wearing the day of the wedding (hopefully white so he can spot you easily.) So if he ask you to help him pick out a suit be supportive and honest. He wants to look great on his wedding day too.
The Getaway Car
You might be surprise at how much thought he has put into the type of vehicle he wants to take you away in. He might enjoy to riding off into the sunset in a limo, or racing off in a classic Thunderbird, or squeezing onto a Vespa. Do not ruin the surprise and let him choose! If you want to have the car draped with decorations and a “Just Married” sign tell him. He will happily ask your bridesmaids to help make it beautiful for him.
Asking him to plan the getaway of a lifetime will surely get him excited about planning your wedding. Brides, you should decide at the beginning if you want the honeymoon to be a surprise or if you want to plan the honeymoon together. If you decided that you want your future husband to surprise you, give him some ideas of where you would like to go and then leave him alone to plan. Do not bagger him for more details or make sure he has everything in line. Believe me, this is a retreat away from his family and yours and a vacation with the girl of his dream. He won’t screw this up. If you decide that you want to help him with the honeymoon plans then you should find something that fits both of you. Your idea of a prefect honeymoon maybe laying somewhere on the beach, while he has always wanted to go on an African safari. Make sure you know what each of you wants to get out of the trip and find a compromise that fits both of you.
The best way to get your guy involved in the wedding planning is to let him be himself. If he is a businessman ask him to try to haggle a deal with your vendors. If he likes using his hands ask him to build the wedding arch. If he is a foodie ask him to narrow down the menu. If he knows every awesome place in town to go ask him to be a tour guide for all of the out of town guests. Do not pressure him to doing things he does not feel comfortable doing. Asking him to do tasks that show off his skills and passions will guarantee he has a hand in the wedding and will make your wedding into our wedding.