When planning your wedding, there will be many times that you come across an awkward situation that you will have to solve. Don’t panic, though, because these situations are completely normal and there are ways to handle them!
Telling Your Friends They're not in Your Wedding Party
You probably have a high school best friend that you always talked about your dream wedding with, but you don’t feel that close anymore, or you're having a hard time choosing between your 10 really close friends. In any situation like this, it is hard to let someone important to you know that they won’t be in the wedding party.
When you tell her, make sure that you express how much you appreciate her and how important she is to you, and then ask her to be involved in a different capacity. Invite her to the bachelorette party, or ask her to help coordinate and plan your wedding. You could also ask her to be a part of your special day by greeting guests, or supervising the guest book. Including her in another aspect of the wedding will make her feel special and you will be happy that your friend still gets to be involved.
Saying no to Extra Guests
You and your fiancé have finally crafted the perfect guest list with just the right amount of people, and then your soon-to-be mother-in-law wants to invite your fiancé’s second cousin who he spoke to once in the last five years.
Be sensitive when you explain why it just isn’t going to be possible to make a last-minute addition to your perfect guest list. Offer to have his second cousin over to the new house after the wedding once you've gotten settled in. If they have only spoken once in the last five years, chances are, they won’t even be expecting an invitation.
No Kids at the Wedding
I think we can all agree that while children are great, you don’t necessarily want a lot of them running around at your wedding. The few cousins and close family members that you couldn’t imagine your day without are fine, but you don’t want every guest to bring their whole gang. Just know, that you might get a few unhappy parents that don’t understand where you're coming from.
When sending invitations to guests with children, address them, “John and Jane Smith,” as opposed to “The Smith Family.” This is a more subtle way to put it without explicitly marking yourinvitations “adults only.” If you still receive complaints, apologize and explain that you just can’t accommodate as many guests as you would like due to budget, or venue size. This will most likely get the point across and diffuse the situation.
Wedding Party Payments
Whether your fiancé decided to pay for his bachelor trip to Vegas in hopes that everyone would pay him back, or you booked an expensive hair stylist and want everyone to pay for their hair, asking your friends to pay you is always an awkward situation. This is an uncomfortable thing, but can be handled easily!
You can use an app, like Venmo or PayPal, to collect money from those who owe you. This takes the burden off of you doing it in person without coming off cold and demanding. You can always talk to your friends before making big purchases or booking expensive vendors, and make sure that it is something that they are comfortable with. This prevents the whole “I didn’t know I was going to have to pay that much” situation. Whatever you do, don’t send out generic email reminders about how much money everyone still owes because that can rub people the wrong way!